I haven’t written in a while. So much could be said, but that’s all I’m going to say.
The hospital stay was sobering. To be told that the physical symptoms I’ve been carrying were directly connected to how much I suppress and overprocess—embarrassing, but undeniable. Managing my anxiety, choosing rest, caring for my body, and learning how to communicate what I feel—alongside the seizure medication—is the only way to calm this overactive brain. If that doesn’t change how I treat myself, then my actions will reveal I don’t love myself nearly as much as I say I do.
I mentioned in a TikTok video that one thing we don’t talk about enough—in wellness, faith, or manifestation circles—is how much energy it takes to bloom into someone you’ve never been before. In the beginning, when you’re trying to abstain from sex, smoking, overeating, or whatever habit you’re leaving behind, it takes work to convince yourself that “no” is actually the most loving choice. When you tell God you trust Him with your dreams, you have to figure out what behavior shows that you don’t just say you trust Him—you actually do. Sticking to the plan you asked God to bless is one of the most courageous acts of faith you will take. It’s also one of the most exhausting.
Because while you’re trusting God, you’re also constantly repeating scripture when doubt creeps in. (Galatians 6:9) You’re battling second thoughts about a risk you already know the Spirit told you to take—even when what makes sense to God feels completely irrational to your human mind (Isaiah 55:8, Proverbs 3:5). You’re staring at what’s in front of you, while fighting to believe what He promised you. Instead of clinging to pennies, you’re sowing seeds that look like they could bankrupt you just to bless someone else. You’re smiling, but the believer in you is tired—fighting in a higher weight class than you ever did when your faith was younger.
Let me encourage you. The fatigue you’re feeling is proof that you’re in the fight. And the fight is already won. As soon as you choose faith, “you have overcome the world” (John 16:33)—including anxiety, depression, fear, sickness, disease, ignorance, poverty, and addiction. These things were defeated before you ever faced them. So keep walking. Keep speaking life. Keep becoming the version of yourself you prayed for. Because you will look up one day and realize—you’re living the life you’re only planning for right now.
And plan boldly. God is not stingy.
I offer this as proof that even tired faith is still faith—and God still honors it.
May it remind you that your blooming, even when bruised, is seen and sustained.
Yours in haute healing,
DreamGirl✨🌿
