One thing I am absolutely certain of is this: I will never earn the love of God. Humanity is consistent in one thing—our talent for making mistakes. That truth shouldn’t stop me from trying to reflect the character of Christ.
To assume otherwise would be like saying free will doesn’t really exist because everything is already predestined. Even in superhero worlds, knowing the future doesn’t change the future; and anyone who time travels knows the rules about not altering it.
Still, this season of healing has shown me just how easy it is to shift God out of the center of your life. Reparenting your inner child, unlearning people-pleasing, overthinking, and control requires you to stare directly at the deepest parts of yourself. That kind of work awakens curiosity and imagination, and for a creative mind like mine, it’s been a full rollercoaster. From giving myself permission to ask the right questions, to translating buried emotions into spoken words, I’ve been devoted to this process. So devoted that I forgot a simple truth: healing may improve the quality of my life, but the life being healed does not belong to me.
Because I committed to live for Christ. And somewhere along the way, an unintended side effect of all this inner work was that I began to think more highly of myself than I should have—not in a loud, prideful way, but in a subtle shift where I started believing I could find all the answers inside myself without Christ. My language reflected it. My center shifted. I sounded more self-reliant than God-reliant, as if regulating my nervous system or solving my problems were things I could do independently.
And once again, I found myself on my knees, praying to the Creator of the Universe for forgiveness and deliverance, promising to repent from the self-centered orbit I slipped into.
And honestly? I’m still there.
I’m realizing how deeply grace and mercy covered me while I was unknowingly transferring my faith from “God in me” to just “me.” I’m grateful the Holy Spirit kept nudging me toward the right conversations and gave me the humility to accept hard truths. I’m grateful that the Lord can rebuild my faith in Them. And I’m trusting that, for the rest of this healing journey, I can settle into my passenger-princess life—letting the actual Driver stay in the driver’s seat.
I offer this as proof that God’s correction is Love embodied.
May it draw you back to the center where grace steadies your steps,
faith refines your vision, and your blooming unfolds in God’s perfect timing.
Yours in haute healing,
DreamGirl✨🌿
If this reflection resonated, you can support the journey or explore more of my work:
Ko-fi | Linktree | Substack
