Living in darkness casts a shadow over who you are and what you do. Instead of wielding authority over it, you become defined by it, limited to seeing only the negative. This perspective shrinks your sense of self, letting darkness expand. Watching your shadow grow, you may mistake it for your true self. Convinced you’re doing fine, you can be blinded by darkness—unaware of how it harms your relationships, delays professional growth, and derails your good intentions. If this sounds familiar, it’s because I have experienced it myself.
There was a time when, in every interaction, I feared someone would discover something bad about me. I fixated on every mistake: flipping someone off in traffic, not tipping enough, abandoning a dog at a shelter. I believed exposure would drive others away, casting doubt on my chances for real friendship. My focus on small flaws made me overlook shared human imperfections and my inherent kindness, generosity, and loyalty. Obsessing over self-critique was self-sabotage at its finest.
Reflecting on these patterns, I began to see a way forward. I drew these conclusions because I decided to grow into balance. This is not meant to sound lofty. Changing behavior takes intention and time. Now that I am more balanced, I quickly notice when I act from a dark place. More importantly, I want a lighter space, where my muscles are not always tense. I look for joy beyond physical things, sometimes finding it in a simple sunset walk instead of in dopamine highs. I avoid getting stuck punishing myself for past decisions. I focus on living mindfully. Each day, I meditate—whether in the morning, midday, or before bed. I remind myself that I can slow down to process feelings and respond as I am, not just react. I listen to positive sources like spiritual podcasts and write down small successes. For example, when I didn’t respond negatively to a difficult coworker’s email, I paused, realized I didn’t know them well, and avoided assuming they meant harm. Sticking with small changes like this helps me hold onto my shift toward what serves my best self.
The most striking difference between living in your shadow versus living in the light is the clarity of mind it brings. I remember saying things like, “My mind never stops,” with glowing pride. And in truth, I am proud that my mind can process information at high speeds, solving multiple problems at once, sometimes. However, now I recognize that living at that pace only burns me out, while I was designed for resilience and evolution. That is the other side of the coin- just because I can do it, doesn’t mean I should all the time. I get to determine who gets access to that high-functioning superpower. Clark didn’t walk around with his cape all the time. He wore glasses as a symbol that he could see when he needed to pull out the cape. Not all problems require a superhero.
Pulling these lessons together, there is a broader truth about balance and power. Power is drawn to balance, alignment, and temperance. Living in the light is healthy and feels good. In some seasons, like survival and war, you must embrace your darker nature. Being wise enough to sense the times is a sign that you are ready for sovereignty. I am not declaring perfection; setbacks are normal. Expect to mess up and start over. Only worry when you can’t restart.
Aligned and balanced people, those who do the work of change, are not blinded by shadows. Yet, we can activate parts of us that align with drowning Egyptians and dancing in fires meant to destroy us—what I call ‘divine darkness’—when needed. By ‘divine darkness,’ I mean the parts of ourselves that use righteous anger in adversity. This side of us stands firm, fiercely protecting what matters, driven by the will to survive and thrive. Embracing divine darkness means knowing shadows aren’t destructive by nature. They are vital for our growth and protection. That kind of balance is sovereign.
Until next time,
~DreamGirl
