Happy Sunday, everyone.
I have always wondered if anyone else’s “writer’s brain” works like mine. I have nothing to say for a while, then a little bubbles up, then a little more; next thing you know, you have a piece. Well, I am still processing all the ways I can love myself through healing, and I wanted to keep sharing the counsel that comes to mind randomly as we continue this advice journey.
Everyone judges. I can hold your hand or not, but I need you to know that human behavior defaults to analyzing a person and then creating a story in their head about that person in less than 10 seconds. I know there are those of us who love to quote Tupac, but the same God he references, according to Christian beliefs, inspired humanity’s creation. By that logic, our judgmental nature is natural. That is why we need to treat ourselves and others with grace and compassion, and retire paradigms like “you only get one first impression,” because what if I meet you on the worst day of your life? Should I base the totality of your being on that one interaction? No. So, get over the fact that we all judge, but wait until you know a person beyond their resume, LinkedIn, or social media shares. Listen past polished introductions and give them space to share their story. Lead with empathy before you judge.
Relationships require compromise. Any ship- friendship, romantic partnership, business partnership, familial relationship, associate-ship (so I made that one up😉) will need some give and take from both parties to make it work. The quickest way to be alone is to be selfish. A compromise is defined as a blend of the qualities of two different things. Blending isn’t losing either ingredient; it’s combining their power to make a better product. That’s the beauty of partnership. Life is hard to live alone, and even when you get a rhythm and success and peace arrive, no one should experience the beauty of that peak solo. However, if you find yourself unyielding, not to your values but to your particularities, then you are choosing to be alone. No one who loves you earnestly would ever want you to lose your identity in them. Then they would lose the person they have yearned for. But not even love can overcome the difficulties of your choices that sabotage any chances at true connection.
Intentions matter. Some will argue that impact matters more, and I am not here for that debate. I am here to remind you that your heart’s posture, whether visible to humans or not, impacts your life story. This shows up across the belief landscape as God loving a cheerful giver, good karma coming back to you, and plain old altruism. Our attitudes influence our days and decisions, and unless we discover and remain consistent in the routines that keep us grateful, disciplined, and resilient, even on the days when we are tired, frustrated, annoyed, or downright angry, we could lose focus. The moment we forget why we intended to do what we are working to do, we become vulnerable to failure. That is why journaling matters. It is a moment when you record your vision and plans so you can revisit them when people or situations try to distract you and make your intentions about something other than what you intended. The world can be dirty, but keep your heart’s intentions pure.
I hope these pieces of advice help you on your walk in life, as they are helping me. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Talk soon.
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